Hello blogosphere!! I’m back again for more than a month of hiatus. So what’s wrong with me? Well, for a month of not posting I’m just busy playing with my Nintendo DS, downloading games, watching YouTube and surfing the net and I just don’t feel blogging for some reasons. A lot of thought that bothers me and that gets me tired of thinking of good things to post. Instead, I keep my self busy doing other stuffs like playing my Nintendo DS lite. Even hubby keeps on telling me to update but none of my blogs was updated, I just don’t feel updating it, I don’t want to sound problematic on my posts.
However, I think I need to let go some of my troubles by posting it. I need to pour out what’s on my heart and mind. Hubby and I are happy together. Financially we don’t have problems about it. Emotionally we both know how we dearly love each other and as a couple we are both hoping of having our own kids someday. I’m not getting any younger, just last week I celebrated my birthday and it’s so stressful on my part for not having a baby at this age. More stressful every time a relative or a friend would asked me if I’m pregnant already, if I see other moms cuddling their babies and if I hear a friend or know someone who got married recently that is now pregnant.
Less than three months from now, we’ll be celebrating our first year anniversary but still no sign of pregnancy due to my condition. It’s not possible since I’ve been experiencing irregular bleeding (non-stop bleeding) for almost four months now. Upon consultation with my OB-Gyne she told me that it won’t stop soon and that my ovary is polycystic. She just gave me Metformin for medication. Metformin is a drug for people with diabetes and is also given to women with polycystic ovary who wants to get pregnant rather than pills. I’m being paranoid already when I learned about Polycystic Ovary and about having a non-stop menstruation. Some times surfing the net about my condition makes me worry a lot, reason for me to avoid being online or not to browse any topic about it anymore.
Every day, every morning, every hour, every seconds, I’m hoping that when I woke up I’ll be fine and that I won’t be thinking about the abnormalities I’m experiencing right now. That’s how worried I am. I know I should think positive but I just can’t help my self think of the worse scenario that might happen to me. I’m thankful that hubby is always there to comfort me and understands me.
For now, I’m still taking the medicine that my OB gave me even if it’s against my will. I don’t like taking synthetic medicines. I even refused to take paracetamol or mefenamic acid for headaches or for my migraine because I don’t want my body especially my liver to be affected by these kinds of medicine. However, I don’t have any choice, I want to be cured so I need to take whatever medicines the doctor will give me. I’m also trying to take herbal medicine at the same time, just hoping that this will help me get better the soonest possible time.
I just hope and pray that what I’m experiencing right now will not lead to a much serious illness and that I’ll be okay…soon.